FIVE STARS Niigaki Risa & Kamei Eri #76 (2010.09.13)

GRANDMOTHER or GRANDFATHER
This week’s opening topic

Kame begins by noting that she feels that her English has gotten better simply through doing this radio show and having to pronounce the English words they use. Meanwhile, Gaki-san was listening to Ai-chan’s FIVE STARS the other day and she felt that her English pronunciation had gotten even more incredible than before. “She’s been saying all this crazy difficult English even at our fall concert tour rehearsals,” Kame reveals.

But as for today’s opening topic: September 20th is the annual Respect-for-the-Aged Day in Japan. Kame says she actually struggles with this holiday: while she’s still close enough in age to her parents for her to get them something on Mother’s/Father’s Day, that’s not the case with her grandparents.

Gaki-san: You say that, but let me ask you then: did you get anything for your mother on Mother’s Day?
Kame: Well, see, the timing was a bit off with Mother’s Day.
Gaki-san: What do you mean by “timing”? (laughs)
Kame: The timing was bad.
Gaki-san: What about Father’s Day then?
Kame: Father’s Day? … Father’s Day doesn’t really leave an impression on me.
Gaki-san: That’s awful! (laughs)

Ultimately, what Kame thinks she’s going to do for Respect-for-the-Aged Day is to get a bunch of Kamei Eri goods from their office and give them to her grandparents as presents.

Kame: If it comes down to it, I’ll even buy the goods myself.
Gaki-san: Well, grandparents do love stuff like that! You should do that and maybe put your pictures in an album and write “To Grandma” or something.
Kame: Right. I’ll get our manager to do that.
Gaki-san: That’s horrible. Do it yourself! (laughs)
Kame: Manager? Are you listening?

Song: Muten Musume – Appare Kaitenzushi!

(For fan mail #1, the hosts simply do a couple of voice imitations which don’t translate very well to a text format.)

Fan mail #2: “Gaki-han, Kame-han, good evening. I’m an 18-year-old girl. What’s the place where you two feel most at ease? By the way, for me that place is… a secret.”

“Why is it a secret?,” Gaki-san. “Is it, like, the toilet or something?” Kame suggests that since Gaki-san was so quick to come up with the idea of a toilet, that must be where she herself feels most at ease. Gaki-san quickly denies this though:

Gaki-san: I don’t like toilets at all!
Kame: What?! Toilets totally make one feel at ease!
Gaki-san: Not me! I don’t like them!
Kame: Why not?
Gaki-san: Because! They’re like… private rooms.
Kame: I’d be troubled if they weren’t… (laughs)

Kame feels that she immediately feels relaxed as soon as she sits down on the toilet; like no one will get to bother her for a while. Gaki-san suggests that they stop talking about this subject before Kame gets too in-depth in her descriptions.

Gaki-san: But really, I wonder? Where do I feel most at ease?
Kame: Let me guess: in the arms of your father!
Gaki-san: Gross! (laughs)

Song: Morning Musume – 3, 2, 1 BREAKIN’ OUT!
Song: Mano Erina – Genkimono de Ikou!

FIVE PLEASURES
Gaki-Kame Self-Quiz Showdown!

Gaki-san Quiz: Some time ago when Gaki-san was filming her part for the Hontou ni Atta Kowai Hanashi movie, she suddenly realized that her co-star, Nakajima Saki, was nowhere to be found. She went outside to try and look for her, but when she did, Nacky was doing something weird: she was taking in water from a bottle, holding it in, and spitting it out. Gaki-san’s question is: why was Nacky doing this?

After being completely puzzled for a while, Kame claims she knows the answer! “She was doing it to practice for her role!” “For a scene where she does what?,” Gaki-san asks. “For a scene where she has to throw up blood!,” Kame says. Once again, much to Gaki-san’s regret, Kame’s guess is correct.

Kame Quiz: Kame’s quiz is nice and simple: what kind of a don did she eat this morning?

Kame’s hints are that it’s one that you can make at home, and it’s one she thinks Gaki-san likes, too. Gaki-san gets a couple of guesses and she eventually gets it right: Kame had salmon roe don.

Thus, this week’s showdown is a tie.

Gaki–Kame (while trying to sound busy): We’re waiting for your messages! Go ahead and ask us anything, such as “would Kamei Eri be able to soothe a runaway horse?” Anything goes!